[Rudy]

So far I found meditation to be a little hard to do because my mind becomes so busy and distracting. I’m finally made it through the gate and I really enjoyed being in the cave but it took me about five times.

[Leta]

Good job Rudy! You have to be kind and patient with yourself. Also, in the beginning, you can start with shorter periods of time. And build up slowly.

[Tracy]

You said to have an idea of a fear before going into the cave. Is it sad that I can think of more than 1? What if the fear I stir up is a fears about myself what do I do with them? I realize these fears are left over from the small child within me. Why am I unlovable ? What if there is something wrong with me?

When we get the fear do we do stay with that meditation until it processes or move on to the next meditation?

[Nathalie]

Hello, in my experience, I do several meditations, and fear meditation changes over time. Using chaotic energy meditation helped me go through this. It’s been more about learning about my fears and owning them, helping parts of me that are still holding to them to be embraced and loved – as it’s just me, embracing myself fully, or at least, trying to.

[Leta]

Hi Tracy, if you have a lot of small child fears, it can take a long time to work through this meditation. I say go slow. Remember you can turn around in the tunnel if ever it feels too scary. Some people have a lot of fear to work through, and you’re right, sometimes even asking what you’re afraid of is too scary!

[Tracy]

I am happy to report that the act of thinking about my fears ahead of time opened up an old fear and of a wounded part or inner child that I had been unaware. It feels like an great opportunity for healing.

[Neha]

Leta I put your advice of creating a mantra to soothe the fear to use on Tuesday.

I was getting my first follow up mammogram after my cancer diagnosis and treatment last year. While I started the day with calm while they started an IV access, gave contrast, did the bilateral mammogram it dissolved into fear as the radiologist had them repeat it twice on the opposite side that was normal before and then get an ultrasound. I was there for 4 hours … most of it just waiting … with my thoughts.

The mantra that came to me was “I am made of Tao, I am filled with Tao, I am swimming in Tao, and I will return to the Tao.” It allowed me to surrender (even to death) and to feel peace with whatever outcome.

I know it’s a different fear than the one that came up during Monday’s meditation but the practice still helped.

Everything came back negative.

• This reply was modified 3 weeks, 3 days ago by  Neha.

[Leta]

Hi Neha,

Isn’t it funny that we say “everything came back negative” when that means it’s so positive? Congratulations! But even more so congrats on the mantra. That feels like a HUGE shift! To be able to calm yourself in such a stressful moment and feel like you’d be okay with any outcome! That’s WuWei!